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Thursday, July 27, 2006

"Heaven knows we haven't lost our sense of humor!...do we EVER LOSE OUR SENSE OF HUMOR?"

I received these quotes and this picture by email and thought that its important to look on the lighter side, once in a while too.


Israel sent warplanes into Lebanon Monday to bomb Hezbollah rocket launchers in the hills and hideouts in Beirut. Diplomacy is not impossible. Hezbollah's sworn goal is the destruction of Israel, but they have some flexibility on the exact date. (Argus Hamilton)

Syria declared Friday they support Hezbollah against the Israelis.

It's hard for Americans to keep track of these groups. Hezbollah supports the destruction of Israel and the Islamic takeover of the United States, and they are the moderates. (Argus Hamilton)

Israel says its goal is to "disband" Hezbollah. If Israel is successful, most Hezbollah members will likely be picked up as free agents by al Qaeda or chosen by other terror organizations in the annual amateur draft. (Jake Novak)

A lot of people are complaining about how long it's taking to evacuate Americans from Lebanon. Lebanon? We couldn't even evacuate Americans from New Orleans. (Jay Leno)

The United States is trying to evacuate 5,000 of our citizens from Lebanon, but the Pentagon says it's hard to move people across the border without any paperwork. You know what we should do? Ask the Mexican government to help. They moved 12 million people over the border with no paperwork. (Jay Leno)

There was one embarrassing moment today for President Bush when they phoned the Pentagon about evacuating Lebanese-Americans. He said, "I didn't even know Dick Cheney's daughter was over there." (Jay Leno)

A lot of military experts are wondering how the U.S can stop Israel from getting bombed. Israel? We can't even stop Pete Coors from getting bombed. (Jay Leno)

Hezbollah rockets killed 8 people in the Israeli city of Haifa this morning. The U.N. is castigating the victims for not restraining themselves from dying. (Jake Novak)

More rockets were fired into Israel today. Israel responded by bombing more targets inside Lebanon. Now there's talk the US might send some troops over there to help with border security. See, that's how you know the people over there are in trouble when they start asking our advice on border security. (Jay Leno)

Lebanon asked President Bush to intervene Sunday and halt the war that broke out last week. Lebanon is a French possession, like Vietnam and Haiti. Being an ally of France is a lot like having a brother-in-law with a gambling problem and no car. (Argus Hamilton)

Hezbollah guerrillas launched long-range rockets Sunday which carried all the way down to Nazareth in central Israel. It's the boyhood home of Jesus. To anger more Americans they would have to shell the North Pole and kill Santa Claus. (Argus Hamilton)

Quote is from Wild Wild West(1999)
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security,
deserve neither liberty or security"

– Benjamin Franklin

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